On Being Cruelty Free (And Other Ethics in Beauty and Fashion)

Hey guys! It's been a long time since my last post, and this is going to be a different kind of post than usual, but it is something I feel passionately about enough that I think I should use what little voice I have over here to talk about it. 

This topic has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I think about it as I scroll through instagram, as I online shop, as I watch youtube makeup tutorials. I thought about sharing my thoughts in a twitter thread, or on instagram stories. I have a lot to say on this topic, but I'm also craving an open discussion on it. Opinions from others. Education from those who know more than I. Mostly, I want to know if I'm the only one who feels the way I do.

I decided to go cruelty free two summers ago. It was a decision I made after careful consideration. I did not and still do not have any plans of going vegan or probably even full vegetarian. I was very scared of looking hypocritical. After a lot of research, I learned that a lot of people go cruelty free because they believe animals should not be hurt for luxury. That made sense to me. To be perfectly candid, I do not feel that it is wrong to eat animals or their by products. I do, however, feel that it is wrong how our society treats animals that we do consume. If I ever did go vegetarian, it would be to protest brutal factory torture and killing. I believe if you are going to consume an animal, they should be treated well until you kill them in a humane way. All of their parts should be used as much as they can be. I also believe animal products should be consumed in moderation. I know there are many opinions on this, and I don't think my way is the only way, my opinions are constantly changing and I am always open to other views on this. (That's the whole point of this post.)

So I switched exclusively to cruelty free beauty. And what I found is that this change helped me be more conscious overall of what products I was buying. I paid more attention to ingredients, I bought a lot less because I had to research to find the perfect product in a brand I could support. Most of the products had vegan, natural ingredients that I could feel good about putting on my face and body. I felt good inside because I was "saving the animals!"

It was only this last summer that I started feeling guilty about my crusade. I started to feel that maybe being cruelty free isn't as ethical as it looks from the outside. I've been putting what little effort I was into "saving the animals" when there are people working in sweatshops creating these products. There are children being paid little to nothing to mine for the shimmer we want in our eyeshadows. There are fully vegan and cruelty free brands that have ignorant views on vaccinations. There are brands that preach equality and love, but don't have foundation shades that can work for all skin tones. The first thing that really made me question things was realizing that the only reason some brands aren't considered cruelty free is because they sell products in mainland China. I found this out early on and just went with it, but it always made me a little uncomfortable. Mainland China requires animal testing, which I obviously don't agree with, but it opens up this narrative of, do people in China not deserve makeup like the rest of us? Just because their government made a decision? And if we have brands like Mac that sell in China, but also try to use their voice to change the policy, which side of ethics is that on?

I don't know the answers. And that is what frustrates me the most. I don't know how to do my best to be ethical in a consumerist society and not feel guilty about doing enough.

These feelings all culminated after watching Sarah Hawkinson's video on fast fashion. I left that video feeling horribly selfish about my fashion choices. I buy most of my new clothes from Forever 21, TJ Maxx, Target, etc. These are all stores that sell brands that use overseas sweatshops. I buy clothes I like one season and throw them out the next season when I get tired of them. I have always thrifted and bought vintage, which made me feel a bit better, but after watching the video, I immediately decided I wanted to quit cold turkey. No more fast fashion for me.

Decisions like that are easier said than done. The more research I did, the more I realized how expensive ethical brands are. I'm not against spending a decent amount of money on a good quality item that is ethical, but I just cannot reasonably afford a $50 white shirt because it is a sustainable brand. I understand that because of the nature of ethical brands, they are always going to be more expensive than stores that use sweatshops, but I can't help but feel that these ethical brands are taking advantage of the consumerist society as well. I know it is business, and that is how it works, but I can't help but feel defeated.

I just don't know how to feel that I'm doing enough, because I never will be. I don't have a big enough voice to actually change anything. The most I can do is try to vote with my dollar and my time. And that is what I will continue to do.

I know beauty and fashion are supposed to be fun, but I can't help feeling like it is such privilege that allows us to reap the benefits while ignoring the downfalls. I have so much privilege in this subject, I can afford to be choosier with makeup products, I have time to research, I have white skin that is easy to find shades that work for me in any brand. It is even so selfish of me that a big reason I am so concerned about ethics is because I just want to feel better about myself.

So I will continue to buy cruelty free makeup, even if it isn't completely ethical, because I do believe it helps me be more conscious overall. But I will also look into brands that use more ethical products and aren't creating unnecessary waste (because I have the privilege of extra time). I will continue to shop vintage and thrift, and I will limit my buying of fast fashion brands. And I will continue to wonder what more I could be doing to make the world a better place, while still enjoying my luxurious hobby of fashion and beauty.

I really want to know if anyone else feels this way. I know I can't be alone in this, but I just feel like I never see anyone talk about it, because it's not a very fun topic to approach. I know a lot of what I said in this may be wrong, I may be misunderstanding something or just completely ignorant and naive. Like I've mentioned a million times in this post, I'm trying my best but I don't know if my best will ever be good enough regarding this subject.

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below, or you can privately DM on instagram if you prefer. I would love someone I could talk to about this.

P.S. Please excuse any grammar or spelling errors I made in this post. I've read through it a few times to check, but I want to post it with as little editing as possible so it can be as raw as possible.

-Rebecca